These two girls had a lot in common. But there was a very big difference between them.

When the first girl went home, her father would be waiting for her with a scowl on his face. Trembling, she would stand and describe everything she’d done that day. He’d dismiss her good actions with a grunt; he expected her to behave well, so it was nothing special that she’d done good things. If she’d done anything wrong, however, he’d fly into a rage and quickly punish her for displeasing him. She would then be banished to her room to do her homework alone.

On the other hand, when the second girl went home, her father greeted her with an eager smile and a hug. He’d listen with excitement as she told him about her day. He cheered every time she told him about the good things she’d done. Anyone could see that he was bursting with pride over his daughter’s good behavior. If she’d done anything wrong, she would sorrowfully explain what she had done and ask him to forgive her. Though he was disappointed over her mistakes, he was never angry with her. Instead, he would forgive her, give her a hug and offer to help her so that she’d be less likely to make the same mistake again. Then he’d kiss her on the forehead, call her “princess” and help her with her homework.

Notice the Difference
Take a good look at those two girls. They were both good, well-behaved girls—any parent’s dream. But the first girl behaved because she was terrified not to. If she misbehaved, her father would be angry. The second girl behaved because she knew that her father loved her no matter what and would be pleased with what she had done.

Which girl do you suppose is happier with life? Which one do you suppose loves her father more? I imagine that the poor first girl probably feels a lot of resentment toward her father. She works hard to be good, but all he focuses on are her bad behaviors. He doesn’t seem to notice all the good things she’s done.

But when she feels that resentment, she probably feels pretty guilty for it, too. After all, he is her father. She owes him so much: He takes care of her, making sure she has food, clothes and a nice home. Is it really so much that he asks her to behave nicely? And so she continues in a cycle, struggling to live up to his high expectations, resenting him for not noticing all the good she’s doing, feeling guilty for resenting him and feeling guilty for not meeting his expectations.

Doesn’t sound very fun, does it? But here’s the kicker—the story’s true and can probably be found right in your own church. Possibly even right in your own heart.

Love or Fear
Sometimes people come to accept Jesus out of fear. They’ve heard the horrific descriptions of hell and are terrified of spending eternity there, so they accept Jesus as their Lord. Unfortunately, many of those people continue their fearfulness where fear has no place. (First John 4:18 tells us that God’s love drives out fear.) Those people are living with the first girl’s father—a god who expects nothing less than perfect behavior and is just waiting to punish them for their mistakes. This god expects his children to work hard and become perfect on their own strength and effort. The entire religion revolves around keeping him happy by never making any mistakes. And those people often get stuck in the same cycle as the first girl: struggling, resentful and guilty.

But the Bible tells us that God is nothing like that. He’s actually like the second girl’s father. He’s filled with joy when His children do things well. He prefers to forgive than to punish, although there are natural consequences for wrong behaviors. He’s bursting with love for His children and is always eager to help them do better. While He expects them to try their best to do what’s right, He knows that they’re still human and sometimes make mistakes. He wants to help His children learn how to do things right, patiently working with them to help them learn from their mistakes and grow.

The people who are living in fear have trouble seeing this God of love because they never get close enough to God to see how patient and loving He really is. They think that God has placed unrealistic expectations on them, but that’s simply not true. Maybe these high expectations came from others in their church, or maybe it was just never properly explained to them. Sometimes people think of their heavenly Father as demanding and disapproving, because that’s what their earthly father is like.

Everyone knows the good news: Jesus died and rose again, taking the punishment for us so we don’t have to go to hell. But that’s only half of it. Yes, it’s true that we’re released from the punishment of hell, but what about the life we’ve been released into?

Jesus’ sacrifice releases us into a life of freedom—freedom from guilt, fear and worry. Our Father loves us, and Jesus’ sacrifice closes the gap between us and Him so that we can approach our Father with confidence. As free people, we don’t do good things for merit badges or brownie points but because we know that it’ll delight our Father and that it’ll help us grow into the people He wants us to be. Our good Father knows what’s best for us, and everything He asks us to do is for our best.

Here to Help
The girls in our story looked the same, but they were very different. One girl’s behavior was inspired by fear of punishment. The other girl’s behavior was inspired by love. Which girl are you? If your Christian life is focused more on a list of rules than on a real relationship with God, then you’re living the life of the first girl. The good news is that you can be free! God loves you exactly the way you are, and He doesn’t expect you to make it on your own. He wants to help you every step of the way.

If you’ve been living like the first girl, you can have freedom from the fear and guilt with which you’ve been struggling. God can help you break down those barriers. Guilt is one of the tricks the enemy uses to try to keep us in slavery. Next time you feel guilt and fear creep up, fight those feelings with the truth. God loves you, and you are free from condemnation. No longer a prisoner of fear and guilt. You are FREE!