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Getting a Guy's Attention and Feeling Desperate


Dear Susie:
I like a guy in my youth group at church. He’s nice, and he seems to have a solid relationship with Christ. How can I get him to notice me?

In Like

Dear In Like:
You have your sights set on the right kind of guy—one who’s involved at church and one who’s a Christian. The best way to get him to notice you is by simply being a friend. Don’t be obnoxious about trying to get his attention. Just be nice to him, always say hi, start a conversation with questions that require more than a yes/no answer and smile. Guys are attracted to girls who are sure of themselves, who smile and make them feel comfortable, and girls who aren’t ditzy.

Dear Susie:
In a lot of your answers, you tell us to talk with our parents. Don’t you understand? If we were able to tell our parents what was going wrong in our lives, we wouldn’t have to send letters to you! I want to tell my parents that I’m a former cutter, have dreams of suicide and haven’t eaten more than one meal per day in the past month!

Annoyed

Dear Annoyed:
Yes, I understand that it’s tough to talk with your parents, but I’m glad you want to talk with them. You’re headed in the right direction. I’m glad you’re no longer cutting, but I’m sorry you’re still dealing with some tough battles.

I guess part of me thinks, Don’t YOU understand? The help I can offer you through a couple of paragraphs in a magazine is extremely limited! That’s why you need to talk with your parents instead of someone who doesn’t know you and can’t be with you.

Bottom line: You need to talk with someone. I hope you know you can always talk with Jesus. He wants to hear your struggles, and He wants to give you victory. But sometimes we need Jesus “with skin on.” And that’s where parents, a youth leader or a counselor come in.

If you can’t make yourself talk with your parents, consider writing them a letter. But don’t give up simply because it’s hard. At least give it a try. You have nothing to lose!

Dear Susie:
My dog recently died, my friends are low-lying back-stabbing jerks, and I have manic depression. I see a psychiatrist, but I’m still depressed. My boyfriend left me for a goth girl, and I think about suicide a lot.

I don’t have a death wish; I just want to be with my dog and my great-grandmother. I lie every day to my parents and tell them I’m OK. I’m fat, and I believe that God made my dog die just to watch me suffer. Please help!

Desperate

Dear Desperate:
I’m praying for you as I write this. And I certainly wish we had more time together than simply a few paragraphs inside a magazine. Why lie to your folks? You’re obviously not doing OK, so please stop telling them you are.

It’s obvious they want you to get better, or they wouldn’t be providing psychiatric care and asking you how you’re doing. I can relate to missing your dog and the death of a family member. (I’ve experienced both.) Though no dog will ever be just like your last one, will you talk with your parents about getting another one? Having a pet can be great therapy!

Let me say very bluntly: God did NOT make your dog die, not does He want to see you suffer. God loves you more than you can comprehend, and He’s trying to show you that in a variety of ways each day of your life.

Begin each day with this prayer: “Dear Father, please teach me that You love me today.” And then actively look for the ways He’ll show His love to you.


This article appeared in Brio magazine in August 2007. Copyright © 2007 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

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